im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
