im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
