smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
