My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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