Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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