he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
