i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
