it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
