Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
