"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
