well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
