Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
