Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize