I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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