Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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