Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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