my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
