Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
