i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
