**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
