I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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