eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
