Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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