So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
