Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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