She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
