Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
