She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
