Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I could make wine with my vomit
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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