Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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