My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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