It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
