Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
