Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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