Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
