farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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