? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
