I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
