Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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