so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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