That's intense
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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