You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
