My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
