I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
