Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
