I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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