no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
