physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
sex in a hospital.. check
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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