It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
