Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You took a bar mat shot.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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