If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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