dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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