I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
