Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
