no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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