What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
