Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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