I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
