Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
