she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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